Review: The Two Popes

Battleship

I wasn’t blown away by Battleship, though a lot of stuff does blow up real good! So if you like explosions galore and a bloodless (though high) body count, then Battleship might be a ‘hit’. Otherwise, consider it a ‘miss’. B-10! Get it?

Battleship is “inspired by” the classic naval combat board game by Hasbro. That explains why there’s no real plot or character development. Just your good ol’ fashioned heroes (go Navy!) and villains (Aliens, go home!).

The movie is like a bizarre mish-mash of Top Gun, Independence Day and Transformers, without any big movie stars (except for Liam Neeson, who adds a touch of gravitas to the cast but only appears for about 10 minutes. false advertising!).

Battleship stars Taylor Kitsch (Friday Night Lights) as Alex Hopper, a perennial screw-up who oozes charm and untapped potential. In an effort to force him to grow up, his older, responsible brother Commander Stone Hopper (True Blood’s Alexander Skarsgård) single-handedly drafts Alex into the Navy. Next thing you know, Alex is a Lieutenant, engaged to the Admiral’s daughter (“swimsuit model-turned-actress” Brooklyn Decker) and conducting naval exercises next to singer Rihanna (okay, so she doesn’t really play herself but, whatever.)

To make a long (inconsequential) story short, Alex must step up to the plate to save the world when an alien force drops in for a visit and cuts a path of destruction on land and at sea with flying ball-shaped things that go kaboom.

It has a blaring soundtrack, lots of eye candy, and cheesy dialogue that’s fit (enough) for a mindless almost-summer action-adventure sci-fi flick. I can’t recommend spending 10 bucks or more on it. But if you must go (and if you’ve already seen the far superior Avengers movie), just keep your expectations in check… and figure that it’s probably better than What to Expect When You’re Expecting (see Adventurous Chick’s review of that one).

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