The Kitchen. Just stay out of it.

As much as I’d like to support a film helmed by a woman (Andrea Berloff in her directorial debut) and led by a strong ensemble cast featuring a trio of talented women (Melissa McCarthy, Tiffany Haddish, Elisabeth Moss)… I can’t find any reason to recommend The Kitchen.

I didn’t particularly care about the story: the wives of three Irish mobsters take over their husbands’ protection racket in the Hell’s Kitchen section of New York City in 1978 after the fellas are carted off to prison for robbery and assault on a couple of Feds.

And what’s worse, my investment in – and early appreciation for – the main characters diminished at a steady clip, especially as the violence increased. When the film finally ended after what felt like a very long one hour and 40 minutes, my only thought was: what a waste of time and talent, female and male.

The Kitchen is a crime drama based on a Vertigo comic book series that I’ve never heard of (and apparently doesn’t translate onto the big screen).

I could go on about how this is the worst Melissa McCarthy movie since The Happy Time Murders… or how I much preferred Tiffany Haddish’s attempt at a dramatic turn in a small, quirky 2018 indie called The Oath… or how Elisabeth Moss kicks butt with her acting but still can’t save this film. But none of that really matters.

All that matters is that The Kitchen… stinks.

(p.s. If you’re keen to see a violent crime drama about a group of women who take over their husbands’ criminal activities, rent “Widows” instead.)

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