Yes, I was indeed among the masses who helped Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part One reap nearly $140 Million at the box office in its opening weekend. And I make no apologies. I read the books and liked them (for the most part). I saw the first three movies in the series. The first one was quite bad; the second one was better; the third one was quite good. And now, the fourth – well, it’s definitely weak. But it doesn’t really matter. Once you’re sucked into the franchise, you have no choice but to see it through (thus the boffo box office numbers for this penultimate installment of the franchise). My only hope is that Part Two somehow manages to provide a more satisfying conclusion than the book itself, which was my least favorite of the bunch.

I won’t bother delving too much into the plot, because it will just propel the non-Twihards among you to wonder how and why the “young adult” novels by Stephenie Meyer grew to such Potter-esque proportions. It is what it is, people.

Breaking Dawn picks up where Eclipse left off. Eighteen-year-old Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) and her immortal boyfriend, the intense but charming vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) tie the knot. Bella gets pregnant on their honeymoon and the ‘baby’ grows at an accelerated pace, feeding off the ever-weakening Bella, and triggering a potential war between the vampire clan and the local werewolves whose pack includes Bella’s best friend Jacob (Taylor Lautner). Jacob remains ever-protective of Bella despite his hate for all things vampire. I know – it’s absurd. But every time Jacob rips off his shirt and leaps into werewolf mode, you can almost forgive the cheesy, stilted, so-bad-it’s-funny acting that often fills the screen.

This particular movie is simply a means to an end – the end being Bella’s transition to life as a vampire. For the rest of the story, you’ll have to wait for Breaking Dawn – Part Two, hitting theaters just in time for Thanksgiving 2012. Twihards, save the date. As for the rest of ya – don’t be hatin’ or criticizin’ or mockin’ (too much). Just skip it and move on, knowing it’ll all be over soon.

For the two-and-a-half minute version of the entire movie, watch the official trailer:

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